TITLE: Breakfast
AUTHOR: EPurSeMouve  [epursemouve@goplay.com]
CATEGORY: VA
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: “Biogenesis” - missing scene
SUMMARY: Some thoughts upon breakfast.  Third in the Mealtime Trilogy
DISCLAIMER: This story contains characters spawned by The X-
Files, a show copyrighted by CC and 1013 Productions. The
other cultural icons mentioned belong to their respective
creators, but the actual plot and text are mine.
DISTRIBUTION: Archive anywhere you like, but let me know (just
because I like knowing where my stories are) and keep my name
with it.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I do apologize for the delay in posting this -
“Breakfast” has been through much editing over the past month, and is
remarkably changed from that first version so long ago.  I’d like to
thank Caz and Alanna, who gave me some lovely thoughts on the alpha
copy, and Jess, Sarah, Lucy and Jesemie’s Evil Twin, who deserve much
worship for putting up with infinite drafts and always speaking the
truth.

Comments to epursemouve@goplay.com.  I'd love to hear what you have to
say.



Breakfast
By EPurSeMouve
epursemouve@goplay.com


Well, Mulder.  She put you in the looney bin.  Try explaining that one
away.  Is it personal for you now?

Yes, I know that I’m not being fair - but you’re not going to argue, so
I don’t really care.  Do you hear that, Mulder?  Not only can I be
bitter and petty in my own head, but I can also rhyme while doing it.

Is it just me, or did I see you smile?  Maybe I am funnier than I give
myself credit for.  Of course, you’re a mind-reading mental patient on
tranquilizers.  Easy crowd.

I can’t believe I’m doing this...

The last thing I want to do right now is get on a plane.  But here I am,
not even on the ground six hours and clutching another ticket.  And I’m
starving, but I’m also getting queasy at the idea of airplane food.
Runny cheese omelettes...  Dry slabs of fish...  Rubbery pasta...

You look a little green there, Mulder.  Not that I blame you.  I
definitely should eat something before I board.

Hmmm... that vending machine down the hall had some of those Kellogg’s
breakfast bars.  If you are listening, Mulder...  Not that I believe you
can hear me - at least, I think you can’t...  I don’t know...

If you are listening, don’t worry - I’ll be right back.

And what do you know?  Looks like we get to have breakfast together.
Yours looks a little more edible than mine, though.  Toast *and*
oatmeal?  I’m jealous.

This really is bizarre.  After all, isn’t it my job to get stuck in the
hospital while you go off somewhere interesting?  I don’t want to switch
back - but I really don’t want to do this alone.

However, I guess I can now understand why you did run, all those times.
 Did you feel as helpless as I do?  Was it this urge to do *something*
that caused you to chase after answers you weren’t sure existed?

I don’t know what’s waiting in Africa.  But I do know that if there’s a
chance it will help you, I have to go.  Plane or no plane... could that
have been what you felt?

Jesus - these bars taste worse than I remember.  What serious adult
wants to go into insulin shock before 9 AM?  Yes, it’s 10:30, actually,
but my body’s still stuck between time zones.

I really don’t want to get on another plane...

I leave in two hours.  But I’m going to keep checking with the doctors
the whole time I’m gone, and I’ll get back as soon as possible.  They’re
just keeping you under observation, in case of more violent outbursts or
a possible seizure, and if there was any way around this, you know I
would stay.  I hate doing it, and I am sorry.  The Gunmen will watch out
for you, try to keep away people who shouldn’t be going near you.

Speaking of which, I still don’t know how she got into your apartment.
But, if you are listening, believe me when I say that I know you didn’t
call her.  That this time, at least, you didn’t choose her over me.  I’m
not sure how I know - I think, in the long run, it’s a matter of trust.
 After all, you would have had to be crazy to call her...

I’m almost positive that you smiled at that one.  Nice to know that
stand-up could still be a viable career alternative.

Did I ever mention to you how glad I was that you came to see me right
after your meeting with her?  Probably not.  I should have said
something, because it was really what helped me forgive you, in the long
run.  Mainly because it was exactly the sort of thing you would have
kept from me, before - but for once, you came clean.  And if working
with you has taught me anything, it’s that life is too short for
grudges.

It’s easier to think that than say it.  Makes me almost want this whole
mind-reading business to be real...

But this is abnormal - even for us.  Me trying to communicate
telepathically with you while you push around your toast and oatmeal.  I
don’t know why I’m still doing it, though - maybe it’s because it’s the
only option I have.

Take care of yourself, Mulder.  Don’t flash the nurses and finish up
that oatmeal, yes, even if it does look and taste like glue...

Whoa.

I’d better go.  Because I’ve got to believe that something can be done
to help you.  That there’s something in Africa that will provide some
answers.  But if I don’t go to Africa, that belief won’t matter very
much at all.

It’s so very hard to leave you.  But it’s my turn to haul you out of the
spaceship, and I can’t let you down.  I just can’t.


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


Scullyscullyscully...

So many voices can’t hear you too well at all what’s wrong Scully I
can’t understand...

You’re mad at me but only sort of what is it about Diana that makes you
so mad makes you so mad at me what’s happening Scully when’d you get so
funny?

Wait wait wait what do you mean you have to go go away don’t go Scully
don’t leave need you Scully need you with me you can’t go I need you
here

But you’re hungry go get food Scully don’t be hungry don’t want you to
be hungry the bored security guard wants a donut the orderly changing
sheets doesn’t eat breakfast because she’s trying to lose weight ugh
airplane food I feel sick but Scully go get food it’s okay I’ll be okay

Tray coming through the door from the nursing student scared of losing
his apartment it’s all he thinks about because he needs more money but
he’s scared of losing his job if he asks for a raise and he can’t be
homeless he just can’t

the oatmeal looks disgusting toast is cold and greasy too

You’re back.

your breakfast is as bad as mine too bad and you’re leaving why are you
leaving when are you leaving where are you going don’t leave don’t leave
you don’t have to go I need you to stay here I only left all those times
because I was scared and I had to have something to do but you’re Scully
and you’re not like that you don’t get scared and you always know
something to do

don’t want the Gunmen just want you hey Scully look I can rhyme too

the janitor knows dr. seuss books by heart the only english books he’s
ever read reads them to his grandkids slowly and they roll their eyes
and groan when he can’t say one fish two fish right but they don’t speak
hungarian so it’s the only way he can talk to them

so hard to pay attention so hard to listen I’m trying Scully but it’s so
hard Gibson was better at this but Gibson had practice oh no oh no I
could end up like Gibson and you’ll never know what happened you won’t
be able to know know how she got into my apartment I don’t know I didn’t
call her threw away her number haven’t talked to her because I don’t
know her Scully don’t know her like I know you I trust you I’m glad you
trust me never doubt that

I wish you could read minds too so that I wouldn’t have to say that out
loud and have it come out mean or badly or awkward no I’m no crazier
than usual Scully hah hah I can make a joke too

of course I came to see you that night Scully I know you so well and
when you change I know you even better but she’s changed and I don’t
know her at all I knew I’d be safe with you because I’ve seen your dark
parts and your light parts and your gray parts

another patient hates his walls he wishes they weren’t gray he wishes
they were bright pink or technicolor or tie-dyed because they’ve got him
on so many drugs that he can hear the colors and the gray says nothing
at all so quiet in his head except for the colors he wishes he could see

so loud in this place so many people I try to block but I think one
thing and it connects to another and I just get so confused

I get mad too Scully but I can’t stay mad at you because you’re always
there keeping me sane and happy even when you’re mad at me too and
that’s why I’m only a little bitter Scully a little bitter about only a
few things and one day I swear I’ll sit down and talk to you about them
and you can sit down and talk to me about what makes you mad and then
we’ll be fixed and everything will be okay we can be happy one day
Scully one day I swear

life is strange Scully and I know you can’t hear me but it’s nice to
pretend that we are talking and so please don’t mind a little weirdness
because this is the only option I have

you’re leaving but Scully you can’t leave you just can’t you have to
stay here and protect me from this oatmeal it looks and tastes exactly
like glue

Whoa.

Can you hear me I think you can hear me don’t run away for me I’ll be
fine don’t put yourself in danger that’s my job this time I’ll stay in
the hospital and put myself in danger so that you can just take a day
off or something and stay safe stay safe and I’ll be fine

I’ll be fine Scully as soon as I learn to turn this off and stop
eavesdropping like Diana is in that closet down the hall spying on you
except you’re not saying anything so it’s hard for her don’t make it
easy don’t go to Africa stay away from the lions and tigers and bears oh
my

The bored security guard saw Wizard of Oz last night

I’m getting tired it’s too hard to stay focused right now but I’ll
practice so that when you come back I can finally know what you’re
thinking unless you don’t want that I don’t know I like your head it’s
nice I just wish I could stay there longer

Scully you can keep me safe can haul me out of the spaceship because if
anyone out there had the ability to keep me safe it’d be you and I’ll
always believe in that.


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


This is surreal.  Odd beyond comprehension.

She’s just... *staring* at him.

Staring at a television monitor like some creature of the undead, as if
she’s the borderline-catatonic one.  Not that I expect her to start
screaming like Fox does occasionally.

The resemblance to some pasty-faced zombie *is* incredible.  Like in
those movies Fox watched.  Hair’s all stringy and her make-up is smudged
and bleeding.  And that suit...

I suppose you could say she’s got classic features and a petite figure,
but that hair is quite probably dyed.  Scratch that.  *Definitely* dyed.
 Not to mention how badly she’s showing her age and how *skinny* she is.
 I know that maybe I’m not the best judge, but I honestly can’t see
where the attraction comes from...

Pretty bitchy there, Diana.  Not nice at all.  Even if it is the truth.


Besides, it really doesn’t matter.  Their friendship is based on trust
and respect, not physical attraction. They obviously aren’t doing it.

Alex was right.  Being freelance has its advantages.  For one thing, you
can make a statement like that and know it won’t be challenged by twenty
aging chauvinistic pigs who don’t even think of Agent Scully as a
serious threat.  I knew before joining that men always underestimate
women - but I had no idea how naive some of them could be.  It was
almost funny, at times.  But I don’t miss it.

Of course, when the operation was still chugging along, I was flying
first class to Prague and Paris and Portugal every week, sipping
champagne and putting my feet up.  And now, I’m hiding inside a dim
supply closet, making sure Agent Scully isn’t going any further than
that vending machine down the hall.  The times, they are a’changin’...

I remember, when I came back to the States, the condescending looks I
used to get.  “Poor Diana, hope you aren’t too upset about Agent
Mulder’s partner - hope you don’t mind their being so close.”  Trying to
bait me, see if I’d be driven to tears by being replaced in his life.
Morons.  Fox was pleasure, once - but Agent Mulder is business.  I said
goodbye to the former and hello to the latter before my plane once more
touched down at Dulles.

And Agent Scully is business, too.  Business that I have to handle.

Ick.  A spider.  But a deceased one now.

She’s not even watching him in person - she just pulled a chair up to
the monitor and left it at that.  Does she think they can communicate or
something?  Or that, through force of will alone, the physician will
heal her partner?

Hardly likely.

Wait - she’s getting up now.  Slowly, like she doesn’t want to.  But
she’s walking the hall now, and she still looks pale, but her stride is
so *strong*...

What did you find here, Dana?  Some clue as to what’s going on?  An idea
about how important Mulder’s new gift is?  Or something else entirely?

Whatever it was, I know this much.  You didn’t come just for breakfast.


END


Comments to epursemouve@goplay.com

Thank you for reading.

--
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
        Even so, it does move....
   http://mypage.goplay.com/epursemouve/
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*